Traditions

I'm in a place in my life where I love what's going on around me. I do wish that I had more time at home with my children, but a part of me realizes that as my children get older, they begin to rely on time with me less and less. The thing that is important is what I've taught them and that they know they can count on me when then have questions.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not throwing them to the wolves. It's an evolution I didn't think would happen and I didn't think I'd come to grips with it so easily. Being divorced from my older two children's father made holidays stressful and anxiety ridden for me. In the past we had always agreed that he would have them for Thanksgiving and I would have them for Christmas. Part of it was my need to have them with me for Christmas, my reasoning was they had a younger half sibling and Christmas to the youngest was important. In truth Christmas to me was important. I was lucky that my ex-husband gave that to me.

This year is different, he got a job out of state and is going through a divorce himself this year. He will be in town for Christmas. He has let me have them for Christmas this year too, but I had them for Thanksgiving because of his family situation. With him being so far away in the future I realized that they need the time with him and it's selfish of me to pressure them one way or another. Soon enough they will be grown and going off into the world to start families and traditions of their own.

My wish for them is independence, happiness, and the ability to do what makes them happy. It's a hard thing to learn when they are young, but again I hope they don't forget me and will still know they can count on me if they need help or need to talk.