It has been a very long time since I have posted. A lot has happened in my life. Some things I've purposefully not disclosed but I was thinking of talking about something happening or not happening....Sleep.
As you can tell already I'm not making much sense. That is because I'm exhausted. Being tired isn't something new to me. Ít's been happening since I had my first child at age 21. I gained some weight. Had another kid. Gained more weight. Had another kid. As I've gotten older I've noticed that it was more than being tired.
I've been on antidepressants for years, they help my gloomy mood but don't take it away. I was also diagnosed with high blood pressure and have had to have my medication increased a few times over the last year as my exhaustion has continued to get worse.
I finally decided to make myself an appointment with a sleep clinic to see if they could see what was happening. Luckily my insurance made it all very easy. I went in for a consultation. Took some forms they had mailed me and realized people with sleep problems often times have depression and high blood pressure.
At the consultation they made an appointment for an overnigh sleep study. I showed up in my PJ's read a book and waited to get all hooked up. The man than helped me was super nice and made it a good experience. The only problem is that it's hard to sleep in new place hooked up to an amazing number of cords and things hooked to your face, head, chest and legs.
Apparently I did fall asleep eventually and they were able to see that I do have sleep apnea. They send you home and you await a second study. So I had a month in between studies knowing I had sleep apnea and there was nothing but waiting. That's pretty hard but knowing there was something we could try made it bearable.
Finally my second study came and this one where they set you up with the mask and machine and try to find what pressure you need to help you not have waking issues. The problem is that they hook you back up to all the wires and gadgets and you have a hard time sleeping.
The mask didn't bother me, but things stuck all over my head did. Apparently I was eventually able to sleep so they could determine a pressure but I woke up exhausted. Even though I slept enough to get a pressure, it wasn't enough to feel rested.
The I had to wait for the home health company to contact me about my cpap machine. Luckily that didn't take long and I picked it up yesterday. I was so excited. I got all hooked up and figure in my own bed and without all the hook ups, just the machine I should be good to go.
Little did I know that it's extremely hard to get comfortable when you are worried that the thing is coming loose or moving around or where your pillow is...especially the fact that you fall asleep lying on your stomach, which is pretty near impossible with a big mask on your face.
I woke up today....exhausted but determined to find my way in this. I've decided to give up caffine and start exercising. I've usually downed a good 44 oz of caffinated soda a day, taken naps at lunch time in my car and been too tired to exercise. That all ends today. If I am going to commit to a new life and go through all of this trouble to sleep; I am going to make it worth it.
I'm walking on breaks and lunch today and no caffine. I know I'll get the headache from withdrawal but hell, I've already got one from being so damn tired. Why not get it all over with at once? Tonight I am going to try to fluff my way through the night with new pillow combinations. Wish me luck...I'm gonna need it.
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