Thoughts About My Sister

I found out last year that my older sister got divorced after about 17 years of marriage.  I felt bad for her.  I too had been divorced, but at the time I was the only one in the family who had ever gone through something like that so my family had a difficult time relating to my new situation.  Dating after the divorce was hard. I had two children at the time that I had to care for as a single mom and their father lived out of state.  During those early years I relied heavily on my mother for assistance and was very thankful for her help. 

Once I met the man that I married seven years ago things in my life changed quite a bit.  We married and he became the person that I relied on more.  He started helping with my children because we were now a family.  We soon had a baby on the way and new house.  A lot was changing during those early days.  Both of the older kids were in school full time and the less I needed my mother's help, the more she seemed to resent the new relationship. 

I often wondered if my family learned something from our falling out and if my sister would benefit from any lessons that might have been learned.  It's difficult to know, but I do know that my sister and her new husband just had a baby of their own. They both have children from previous relationships but I suspect they rely on each other for support just as any new blended family should.

Holidays and Family

I love the holidays.  I always have.  I love the way the holidays make people act towards others.  I love the crisp air, the joy, the love...and the memories. 

Six years ago between Christmas and New Years I had a falling out with my family.  It was a big crazy incident that blew out of proportion.  Things were done that couldn't be taken back and I have been estranged from them since.  It is something that has shaped who I have become over the last six years.  I think I've become the type of person I didn't have the guts to be before, but do miss the family I once had.  The problem with missing that part of who I was is that it doesn't exist anymore. 

Like I have said before I have a great husband who loves me more than anyone.  My children are healthy, happy, wonderful people.  Even my mother in law has accepted me as if I was her daughter.  The problem that occurs is that my family still lives nearby.  My sisters and I have friends in common and with the invention of Facebook, our mutual circle has attracted a few questions.  It's hard to explain to people on the outside that I do love my family, the memories of who we were.  But it's not a place that I ever want, or ever could go back to.  Everyone thinks it's as simple as forgiving, but it's not.